22.. wondering~~

i wonder whats it like to just jump of a high building.. you'd just feel the adrenaline and the wind in your face.. and the next thing you know it, your life is over,

you'd end your life to end your misery, but then you'd open new misery for others i guess..
best thing about it is, you're already dead and everything just vanishes.

i don't know what i'm saying anymore.. its all a blur.. i was doing alright.. but now it just seems like everything is pulling me back.. i do miss my previous year.. but is it the same for her?

everyone is saying i should just move ahead.. everyone is moving on.. and i've just started moving at a slow pace.. i told Yee Lin before that right now what im going through is just like this situation.." there are tonnes of pictures scattered on the road, i'm picking some of them up in my hand, but i couldn't carry much, everyone is ahead smiling and laughing, so why am i looking at these pictures?, life is ahead, not in the past, i should just drop all the pictures and start walking down the road".

its true i can't forget, i can never actually, the only thing i can do now is just live with it.. but still it still felt as if someone is tugging on my heart whenever i think back, the sensation has turned from emotional to physical..

continue in a few hours.. (7.55P.M)

back and its 11.26P.M

anyway.... i think i forgotten what i wanted to say already.. so i'll just stop it here.. nights people.