23.

does anyone read my blog.. seriously? =/

22.. wondering~~

i wonder whats it like to just jump of a high building.. you'd just feel the adrenaline and the wind in your face.. and the next thing you know it, your life is over,

you'd end your life to end your misery, but then you'd open new misery for others i guess..
best thing about it is, you're already dead and everything just vanishes.

i don't know what i'm saying anymore.. its all a blur.. i was doing alright.. but now it just seems like everything is pulling me back.. i do miss my previous year.. but is it the same for her?

everyone is saying i should just move ahead.. everyone is moving on.. and i've just started moving at a slow pace.. i told Yee Lin before that right now what im going through is just like this situation.." there are tonnes of pictures scattered on the road, i'm picking some of them up in my hand, but i couldn't carry much, everyone is ahead smiling and laughing, so why am i looking at these pictures?, life is ahead, not in the past, i should just drop all the pictures and start walking down the road".

its true i can't forget, i can never actually, the only thing i can do now is just live with it.. but still it still felt as if someone is tugging on my heart whenever i think back, the sensation has turned from emotional to physical..

continue in a few hours.. (7.55P.M)

back and its 11.26P.M

anyway.... i think i forgotten what i wanted to say already.. so i'll just stop it here.. nights people.

21.. tragic

hello everyoneee!!! been ages since my last post eh? yeaa.... i didnt really have the feel for it for that few months though..

i guess im blogging again.. because theres so much to say.. but so little time to listen.. might as well i just crap everything here and just get over it..

sorry for being alittle not like myself in the previous post.. i dont have my happy mode on me anymore like last time.. lols..

ANYWAY!!

question.. what is love?

to me..

love to me.. the feeling when you have nothing to do or think about. the person will appear in your head in an instant.

to me.. no such thing as love on 1st sight
a guy only gets interested at the girl by looks at 1st, never by heart. So guys.. dont give that bullshit "love in 1st sight" thing.. its bullshit..

love is a developing emotion.. just like every other emotion.. you spend time with them, get to know them better, get to know their true nature.
that is when your heart decides whether you wanna love them or not?

next is.. growth...
love grows throughout time, care, support, communication, determination, trust, and understanding.. do all this 7 correctly. and i assure you nothing will go wrong.. but leave even a single one behind.. disaster would happen..

furthurmore.. tolerance, forgery, tempering.
theres no need for tolerance if you love them.. cause you will take whatever they throw at you. why? to show that you'll be with them through thick and thin.. if anything goes wrong.. fix it.. forging your relationship will strengten it and make you understand each other more..

time..
there's such thing as spending too much time with them.. they need their space too.. so guys and girls.. just back off from the ones you love once in awhile.. let them miss you.. they'll be back to you.. no worries.. another thing about time is.. it never waits for anyone.

envy.
jealousy kills a relationship for sure.. jealousy would make them not wanna make friends with the opposite sex cause it would piss you off for sure.. and you know that.. hahaha..
but a little jealousy is alright.. shows that you love them too much to let them go..
but too much jealousy shows that you don't trust them at all..

another thing about this emotion is, it branches.
from happyness to sadness and etc etc..
i think the reason why they used the heart to represent this emotion.. is maybe it shows that it pumps.. and its alive.. and all the veins and arteries shows other emotions..

theres plenty of tips on how to court a girl or guy.. what to do? do this.. do that.. etc..
but fuck it with all the plans..

this is the real advice.. be your fucking self.. and be random..

you can show your good side when you're wanting to be with her.. but in the future they'll just see your bad sides eventually.. show both.. and if the accept you for both of your sides.. you better fucking keep them or you're just an ass who's materialistic..

i've been told and asked
use your heart in a relationship, never your brain.
treat each relationship as a new book, and not refer to the last one.
dont stereotype a relationship.

this is my favourite..
"why do you love her?" " i dont know" "thats the right answer"

some of you may get confused of that sentence.. but let me explain..
if you love her/him. why must there be a reason for you to love her/him?
isit because of her/him looks, attitude, brains, being funny and all that?
if its because of that.. does that mean if all those changes 180.. does that mean you wont love her/him anymore?

that is the thing that really opened my eyes.. it made me understand this stupid yet great emotion.

but really.. this last sentence may go againts everything i said.. but its really true..
"every couple is different, special and unique in their own way"